Building Yourself Back Up

          Before I was sick and in the hospital being physically fit was extremely important to me. The things I went through made that even more important than ever. Granted I was thrown a curve ball with how cancer truly affected my body. Most of the time people going through treatment will lose weight and some muscle. I unfortunately lost about twenty five pounds and every ounce of muscle. It was real hard to look in the mirror and see not a single piece of muscle on my body. I wanted to do whatever I could to get in shape. 
          From the moment I was allowed out of my hospital bed I did whatever I could do for exercise, which consisted mostly of walking the floor. There would be times at like six in the morning I would wake up and just start walking. Now, I wasn't walking half miles, I was only walking like four hundred feet but to me it was miles. After I would get done I would lay back in bed because that small walk would take so much out of me. I would do different isometric exercises to try and build muscle as well.
          When I was finally home I wanted to get back into the gym, but that was way out of the question. So it was up to me to do whatever I could around my place to get a workout in. I remember trying to do a push up one day and not even being able to do one. It was so depressing to see what had happened to my body. But I knew that I would get it back one day. I would take it slow trying to do one push up then two and so on. It didn't happen overnight. It took weeks before I was able to do five in a row. But I can remember doing it and feeling like I was Rocky after he beat Ivan Drago. It was amazing.
           I was slowly becoming me again. I would read stories of how people would jog, go to work, and bike during their treatments and that drove me even more. I wanted to be just like them, but at this point I was glad that I was at least taking walks. Through this whole process I was forced into the mind-set of baby steps. I wanted to go faster than I was going but I had to accept what was smart and what wasn't.
          Five months out was when I was finally back in the gym. It was a great feeling and also a sad realization of how weak my body had become. I remember using the leg press and only being able to lift 90lbs, and benching and only being able to lift the bar. These numbers were unacceptable to me, but it didn't stop me. I kept track of what exercises I would do and how much I would lift. Each week I would try to increase how much I would lift and if I couldn't I would try again the next week. It was a slow process but after about six weeks I was probably at sixty percent, which was pretty good for me.
          At the very beginning, I would look at pictures of what my body looked liked during the third week of chemo and compare it to what I currently looked like to see the progress I was making. It will probably take a year to get where I want to be but as long as my steps are going forward and not backwards that is all that matters. Getting back into shape after such trauma is never easy. The key is to take small steps. Keep track of what you are doing, whether it's running, lifting, or walking so you can see the progress. It's understandable that you want to be back to normal but that will come in time. Don't push yourself too hard; listen to your body. Your body will tell you real quick what you can and can't do. Remember it's okay if it takes a couple of months or even a year to get back into shape. Your body just went through a lot and will not come back overnight. And also talk to your doctors before you start doing things that may interfere with or affect your body.